April 2005
Something in the Water? Seriously.
Men and women in hormonal flux
by Colleen King
QCF Magazine social columnist
Traditionally, according to television and the other highly educational forms of intelligence I use to enlighten myself, I am supposed to be pining for my one true love – wishing, waiting and hoping he finds me soon. I am conventionally supposed to desire lots of babies, a white suburban house and get thrilling chills when I think of myself driving a minivan, calling my husband on his cell phone and asking what he wants me to make for dinner. I obviously am not one of these time-honored women. At first I thought there was something wrong with me; I asked questions: Do I like men? Am I evil for not desiring a soccer team of children? What do I have against minivans? Am I supposed to want all these things?
In standard womanly approach to these questions, I used the strongest and purest form of research technique I know – I went to my girlfriends and asked them their thoughts. I received a mixed review. It seems some of my friends were secretly picking out their engagement rings and naming all eight of their obviously not-unthought-of children, while most were scared shitless about the prospects of dropping their last name and having to possibly wake up one morning and introduce yourself as Mrs. Humperdinckleski. This did answer my question; I am not alone in my sentiments toward “can‘t-wait-to-start-a-family.”
As I breathed a sigh of relief that I was not the freak of nature I was beginning to think I might be, I looked around myself and noticed many of the guys I knew were desperately searching for their wives. I was told by one that, at 27, he was “really looking to settle down…[he] want[s] to have a kids and a family. [He’ll] be a great dad.” One informed me he was sick of meaningless sex and couldn’t wait to find his partner for life. (I almost choked on my shiraz.) Men everywhere were talking to me about how excited they were to propose to their girlfriends, and they were the ones excited about the wedding registry gun in the Waterford crystal section of the department store.
* * *
All around me, my twenty something girlfriends are opposing the traditional standards I am familiar with. Is there something in the air? Is this a new trend? What is in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky’s water? Or maybe, what are they putting in the alcohol?
Are women becoming more like men and men becoming more like women?
Evidently, our water is being tainted. The birth control and hormone pills women pop daily are being washed from our bodies and then pushed into the water. There is no filtration system for hormones yet. Additionally, when plastic breaks down, one of its components forms a weak bond in the body's estrogen receptors, causing cells to replicate more quickly. Some effects have been seen in small fish populations where the male fish begin to take on characteristics of the female fish. Female mice, when drinking water tainted with these hormones and receptors, are going through puberty even earlier than normal. I know men are suddenly noticing how girls – I mean junior high aged girls – are showing signs of sexual maturity. Currently, the chances of this being any cause as to why Cincinnati males wanting to settle down are quite slim. The reason Cincinnati females want to sow their wild oats is beyond me.
But it isn’t only that men want wives and children; it all starts much earlier than that. I have noticed so many of my female friends are completely willing to just date guys. The girls are interested in going out, meeting people and even making out, while the guys I know completely intend to find a girlfriend and do couples cheesy things.
What is it?
Why are the girls being players and the guys being played? Are we finally on the verge of a new sexual revolution? If so, are we ready for it, and what effect will this have on the world?
Colleen King’s column “Miss King Meets the Queen City” is a comprehensive look at “20 and 30-something” relationships in Cincinnati. Her column appears regularly in QCF Magazine.
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