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Saturday, November 06, 2004 - 05:39 PM
I want to be the poster boy for downtown Cincinnati living
By Michael Kellerman
It’s Tuesday night and I’m sitting in front of my computer frustrated and trying to figure out what the scene in Cincinnati is lacking. It’s not that I haven’t been having a good time on the weekends. I always seem to make the most of my 48 hours of freedom. However, as 26 turns 27 and nears the corner of 30, I’m left with an ever increasing social desire that I can never seem to fulfill. These years have taken my friends, my city, and maybe a little of me … and I want them all back!
Many a friend have fallen victim to the monotony of this fair city. I wish I could say I was immune to this syndrome, but it seems to have pierced my urban armor. Houses, husbands, jobs, and children have tamed or pushed away even the most savage of my pleasure-seeking friends. After ten pregnancies and too many weddings to count, most of my friends are blinded by domesticity or have left Cincinnati for places where happy hour is the church of the 21st century. If only happiness were a train’s ride away from home!
Queer life has done wonders for my adolescence. Even though my work ethic and drive for success keep my head firmly grounded in corporate America, my yearnings for the next interesting bar or French Connection’s newest fashionable line-up have temporarily postponed my resignation to Cincinnati monotony. It seems that the only way to escape this infectious syndrome is to leave my beautiful downtown home for the endless choices of our successful urban neighbors.
We all know that choices don’t exactly abound in Cincinnati. Spy Club’s furniture now sits on a 5th Street sidewalk. Vertigo, whose Tuesday night 80’s soiree became a staple night out among my group of friends, has now closed its doors forever. And much to the chagrin of Sir-Mix-A lot and Young MC, the once bustling Main Street Entertainment District has now become a ghost town. Accompanying this series of closures, the unconventional Warehouse, after an unsuccessful attempt to reinvent itself in a relatively hip new atmosphere, has left only an entrancing ghost for those of us who relished its existence.
I guess all good things must come to an end. Just as I thought the Spy Club’s upstairs bed theme (which unfortunately no one knew about), and Jacob’s “Backbeat 80’s,” a Friday night reinvention of a Tuesday night at Vertigo, would prolong my inevitable exposure to Cincinnati monotony, I’ve now become a pessimistic Cincinnatian who can see no way out. Why does this city have such a hard time keeping the interesting interested?
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again; our only way out of this rash of boredom is to promote a youthful and vibrant Cincinnati. Whether it is private organizations or a cash-strapped city willing to commit to changing the culture of our city, someone needs to champion the vibrance our city still secretly harbors. If politicians can raise hundreds of thousand of dollars to promote themselves on television, why can’t the same politicians raise hundreds of thousands of dollars to promote downtown on television?
I’ll be your commercial for a weekend out on the town. Come to my new loft condo after I’ve bought a cool, club outfit at Nero’s, Bolero, or Saks, when my unique group of friends engages in absurd yet entertaining conversation before departing for dinner. Film us as we walk to Hamburger Mary’s or Carols for a dinner and cocktails. Film us as we enjoy the company of a diverse crowd and dance to the catchy yet infectious grooves of The Smiths or Depeche Mode. I guarantee you that the many unknowing suburbanites that suffer from Cincinnati monotony will be vaccinated with a fresh shot of fun and be enticed to all our beautiful city has to offer. And then, just maybe, I can finally replace some married, pregnant friends with some jaded lushes who can fuel my unending need for a memorable night out!
P.S. Move downtown and become my neighbor so you can carry me home when we’re finished.
Michael Kellerman and Simone Monet-Williams write “Search for Culture in Cincinnati” in each edition of QCF Magazine. The column is honest and raw, geared to the young, vital exploration of the drinks, dining, people, sexual orientation, and arts in the city---to name a few things.
Contact Information
· michaelk@queencityforum.com
· simonemw@queencityforum.com
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